God has amazing ways of getting my attention.
When I slow down and dis-connect from the chaos to seek Him. Be still and know that I am God.
My mommy mantra is day by day and never before have I felt so aware of focusing on this day. God has been teaching me all about my human limitations. That I have only enough energy, resources and time to do so much. I am ONLY human I've realized.
But there are times when day at a time becomes too much. Living only in the urgent drains me. It deprives me of rest, reflection and a sense of peace. I struggle to turn off my iphone or computer, relinquish my day, the tasks, my doubts, my human limitations, but I believe it is what's best for me.
It also was no coincidence David & I had been talking about God's lead, having a season of rest and discernment in Fall of 2009. Almost a 40 Days of rest after a busy season adjusting to two kiddos. Low an behold we show up at church on Sunday to hear God's word about "Being Still", saying "no", to say "yes". There is no time like God's timing to nudge us forward. So, I can't help but think that when disaster strikes close to home, it has a way of getting us thinking about what really matters, whether we are making an impact with our lives and living out our God given purpose. When I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be then it's easier to receive His gentle hand molding me like clay on a potter's wheel,
For me natural disaster always makes me feel really small and aware of how much I am not in control, despite the comforts of routine and habit. And if I live in the tension of this reality, I believe it brings about clarity of purpose. I'm not saying God inflicts disaster just to stir things up but I do believe that out of challenge, hardship or chaos we have a choice to refine our focus and see Him at work, using all things for good.
My mommy mantra is day by day and never before have I felt so aware of focusing on this day. God has been teaching me all about my human limitations. That I have only enough energy, resources and time to do so much. I am ONLY human I've realized.
But there are times when day at a time becomes too much. Living only in the urgent drains me. It deprives me of rest, reflection and a sense of peace. I struggle to turn off my iphone or computer, relinquish my day, the tasks, my doubts, my human limitations, but I believe it is what's best for me.
It also was no coincidence David & I had been talking about God's lead, having a season of rest and discernment in Fall of 2009. Almost a 40 Days of rest after a busy season adjusting to two kiddos. Low an behold we show up at church on Sunday to hear God's word about "Being Still", saying "no", to say "yes". There is no time like God's timing to nudge us forward. So, I can't help but think that when disaster strikes close to home, it has a way of getting us thinking about what really matters, whether we are making an impact with our lives and living out our God given purpose. When I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be then it's easier to receive His gentle hand molding me like clay on a potter's wheel,
For me natural disaster always makes me feel really small and aware of how much I am not in control, despite the comforts of routine and habit. And if I live in the tension of this reality, I believe it brings about clarity of purpose. I'm not saying God inflicts disaster just to stir things up but I do believe that out of challenge, hardship or chaos we have a choice to refine our focus and see Him at work, using all things for good.
A week ago was all about fire here in our hometown La Crescenta. The hills just North of us caught fire last Thursday, smoke has been plentiful, ash abundant, discomfort in the midst of circumstances and many, many living in fear and trembling, full of anxious hearts and uneasy days in waiting. Fear, fascination, images of flames. Media frenzy. I saw the flames, I smelled the smoke, I knew folks evacuated. I didn't put my focus on the fire on the outside, God was guiding my heart on the inside. Faith.
I love our home, but God has been showing me in recent years about where the heart of my true "home" is. I'm just so thankful to know it ain't here on Earth. Having grown up in La Crescenta we have every reason to have deep roots here... we bought a house because the schools are good, the streets are safe and family & friends surround us. But with changes in the market and loss of value, not to mention people we know losing their homes to bankruptcy or foreclosure, it has gotten us thinking about where we place our hope- in finances, homes or God?
And quite frankly everyone I talk to is talking about living simply and refining their focus. In these times of recession, loss of homes, jobs, stability, living on less and learning about thriving on simplicity. Less consuming, more living. More faith.
I love my friends that buy less and live more. Friends that use their garden to bless others with homemade tomatoes, flower bouquets and shared meals/treats. Friends that have given up eating out opting for a picnic instead. Friends that have cut cable or cell phone plans because it's not REALLY necessary. Those that have changed medical insurance or have none because at the end of the day we believe that God will care for us and spending $1,500 a month will not prevent illness; medical care is important but so is making proactive living choices. I relate to those that say "no" to all the best "classes" or multiple sports for their kids, because they believe being intentional with family time and community is what matters to God.
But quite frankly our time and our home is a gift from God and I think I want to say "yes" to Him. I think he cares more about "how" we use it than all the things we fill it with. I want our home to be a place of rest and joy, more than I care about it's square footage, how we decorate it, how much it's worth, how clean it is or it's zip code. In our culture bigger, better, nicer, cleaner is very prevalent and I've gotten caught up in it more than I'm proud of in the past. It can be a really wasteful focus, because it won't come "with" us. And it's distracted me from being present to what He has given!
God has been asking me "What matters? What really matters?" and quite frankly like being faced with a fire... unless I stop and drop to my knees and listen for His lead I will miss it. The rage of living by circumstances will live "on". I've experienced this mode first hand... life will be easier when... I look forward to when... and when we are so focused on our tomorrows, we squander our "todays".
I ran into someone in the grocery store in the midst of the fires, reminded me much of my own stubbornness. Someone that was holding on so tight to self- sufficiency that they claimed they'd go down with the house; not wanting to evacuate. Pride of knowing that THIS is better than what's to come. Really? It's just a house... it can't relive the memories that we carry within us.
Oh and in the midst of this week before the fire raged, we celebrated Cade's fourth birthday. We had his baseball birthday party in the park a week early, and I'm so thankful we did, so we didn't have to cancel due to smoke! I need to upload pictures...
4 years ago, August 30, 2005, when Cade was born, New Orleans was in the midst of Hurricane Katrina. We have the front page of the newspaper in his baby book and I laugh when I think about this. Cade is intense, passionate and high energy and my life has felt a bit like a hurricane since then. I have been grieving my "old life" pre-kids in many ways, but yet God has been refining that perspective too, revealing how little I knew and how thankful I am for all that he uses for good. The Peace that Surpasses Understanding.
4 years ago, August 30, 2005, when Cade was born, New Orleans was in the midst of Hurricane Katrina. We have the front page of the newspaper in his baby book and I laugh when I think about this. Cade is intense, passionate and high energy and my life has felt a bit like a hurricane since then. I have been grieving my "old life" pre-kids in many ways, but yet God has been refining that perspective too, revealing how little I knew and how thankful I am for all that he uses for good. The Peace that Surpasses Understanding.
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